What contests won for striking hairdos made,
Whose affections sparked by artful messy braid,
I toil – This search through Pinterest, muse, to all
Who seek perfect style for each hip bar crawl:
Let frantic thumb flick iPhone scrolls reveal
Unique designs for followers with zeal.
Appear, elusive trend, to lend a shell
Even the snap of a boring life can’t quell.
Onward, down the line of shapely figures
Beckoning a tap with hidden sniggers
Belying the necessary training
To pull off the look; these girls are feigning.
Upon the hour my ablutions begin,
Less fresh a start, assured a sin
by blogger angels, strangers raised on high
with choruses of emojis to glorify
the everlasting joy of finding one.
Once done, now ready to commence the fun,
My eyes traverse rows of noble legions
Of spray, gel, crème mousse, each for their seasons.
A sigh escapes my two tremulous lips.
Serious business this, no time for quips
To ease the o’er bubbling anxiety
Of attempting this level of piety.