What contests won for striking hairdos made,

Whose affections sparked by artful messy braid,

I toil – This search through Pinterest, muse, to all

Who seek perfect style for each hip bar crawl:

Let frantic thumb flick iPhone scrolls reveal

Unique designs for followers with zeal.

Appear, elusive trend, to lend a shell

Even the snap of a boring life can’t quell.

Onward, down the line of shapely figures

Beckoning a tap with hidden sniggers

Belying the necessary training

To pull off the look; these girls are feigning.

Upon the hour my ablutions begin,

Less fresh a start, assured a sin

by blogger angels, strangers raised on high

with choruses of emojis to glorify

the everlasting joy of finding one.

Once done, now ready to commence the fun,

My eyes traverse rows of noble legions

Of spray, gel, crème mousse, each for their seasons.

A sigh escapes my two tremulous lips.

Serious business this, no time for quips

To ease the o’er bubbling anxiety

Of attempting this level of piety.

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